I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
