What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
