I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
