awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
