she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
