I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
