Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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