I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
