you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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