i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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