We're facebook friends in real life
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
