mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize