sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
