i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
