Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
