Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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