The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
