I'm gonna have a badass scar
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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