I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
