drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Boobs speak an international language.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
