I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
