I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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