dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
