my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
