call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
