Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful

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(304): View more from West Virginia

all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over

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(914): View more from New York

He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?

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(970): View more from Colorado

You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.

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(770): View more from Georgia

The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.

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