Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
