dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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