I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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