so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
even my farts smell like vagina
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
