I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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