Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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