on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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