He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
