My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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