Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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