If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
