you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
