So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
