Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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