I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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