but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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