If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
