put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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