how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
