im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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