I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
