my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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