i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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