that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
