This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
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