forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
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We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
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You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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