: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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