i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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