I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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