I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
