Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
