I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
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I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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