Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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