im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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