Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
