She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
